GoFundMe Help – Last Post for Awhile

Good afternoon my fellow blogger and friends.

It is with great sadness that I need to step back from my blog for a bit to try and get some things worked out. We are going to be in jeopardy of losing our house in the next few weeks if we don’t come up with the rental amount. Poor Bradley is working hard to get the utilities paid so they aren’t turned off; Monday we have to take our car into the garage because our exhaust system is about ready to fall off of the car and I don’t know how much that is going to cost, but it is being put on our charge card.

I set up a GoFundMe, reluctantly, to try and get help. I am starting to think it was a mistake unfortunately. I’ve asked people to spread the word, hoping a generous soul would see it and help, but like us, everyone is broke and struggling, and have families to feed and bills to pay. I sold my most loved items, just items though, a $60 to put towards $400 owed.

The link to the source is as follows if anyone would like to share.


Of course it is legit. We are not beggars; we are not drug users, we are not alcoholics, are are not absurd spenders. We just need to ensure we have a roof over our heads. I am leaving it in Gods hands and hoping for the best. I have called churches and community aid centers for help, I’ve even called the county department of health and human services, who were very rude and unhelpful. I’ve tried posting on social media accounts, Facebook and Twitter, which is all I have.

I will try to be back as soon as I can and hopefully things work out. I have worked myself up into quite an anxiety and panic attack today; with no one to talk to and no one close who cares, it’s been a terrible struggle. Bradley is working until this evening and I can’t bother him; he can’t afford to lose this job as he’s doing so well with it.

Until next time, much love to all.



Gas Prices

Gas Prices have, once again, outdone themselves and our pocketbooks. In North Central Pennsylvania, we are looking at $3.05, up from $2.95 within the last 2-3 days. 

I put exactly $9.00 in so I didn’t overdraft my bank account. The gas gauge didn’t even reach half a tank, just a little over 1/4 of a tank in a 4 cylinder Chrysler Station Wagon with a 12 gallon tank. Give me a break.

Some times I wonder if we really would be better with horses, buggies, and carriages roaming our streets again. I’m not even allowed to drive anymore anyway, but regardless I go with Bradley when going out.

Is there some sort of hurricane coming or is there a Zombie invasion coming? 




The Reality of Difficult People

Today gave me the perfect example of who I do not want to be and who I NEVER want to be; that would be unkind, inconsiderate, and just plain out bullheaded. This may come off as a complaining kind of post, so my apologies in advance; but my point in the end is that most people, businesses or not, haven’t much of a heart or time to hear or work with others to come with a resolution. 

Number 1 was the garbage company. I noticed last Friday morning our trash was still sitting out by the road while the neighbors wasn’t, so I came back inside and called their local site number to see if they forgot about us. After waiting to speak to someone after 40 minutes on hold (I take notes) I spoke to a woman named Rachel about the issue. I gave her the usual information for her to look into the matter, than had to wait another 10 minutes. She finally came back and told me our service had been suspended. I was kind of dumbfounded, didn’t know what to say, but managed a “How?” She started throwing numbers at me left and right and check numbers that I had sent in. Apparently I forgot to pay about $15 towards the account, on top of the new bill of $82.50 for three months of service (which went up drastically, mind you. We used to only may $50 for three months) I was calm and collected, I offered to make that payment of $15 to bring the account current while the new balance was going to have to wait until next week. She said in order to restore our service, the ENTIRE balance had to be paid, including this new balance. I asked how that was fair, but she said according to their system, that was the only way she could restore our garbage service. So now we will have last weeks trash, this weeks trash, and whatever we accumulate next week to put out; and I am putting it ALL out considering this money we’re throwing around and considering we won’t even be able to pay our rent. She wasn’t very nice to me, though I did treat her nicely and didn’t scream or yell; I didn’t use profanity or say anything nasty…though it crossed my mind a few dozen times. I told her kindly I would use their automated system next Wednesday to pay it all in full and next time they decide to suspend our service, I would greatly appreciate a notice in the mail as we never received one. Over $15, what a world we live in…

Number Two was to the Sewage Department for our Township. Over the last year or two, our rates have tripled, no joke there. It’s almost impossible to afford. They used to bill every three months, and it became so expensive for the residents that they actually had to start sending the bills out monthly (We are talking $450-$500 every three months). Back on topic, we were being charged all of these surcharges and maintenance fees, including a hefty one that we were told would stop at the beginning of 2018. Well here we are going into May of 2018 and we are still be charged this $50 surcharge, so I called. The one nice thing is I didn’t have to wait to speak to anyone. I stated my name, information, and nature of my call (once again, professionally and very kind) and what I was told last year about this charge and asked why it was still there. This lady, I kid you not, blew up on me. I had to take the phone away from my ear and I put it on speaker since she wanted to yell at me. I can’t say that I yelled back at her, but I did raise my voice at that point, and I told her I didn’t appreciate the attitude nor did I appreciate being lied to before about this charge. She went on about no one should have been telling me that information and everyone gets billed that same charge at different rates depending on their usage. I told her it seemed kind of unfair and how they expected low income families to be able to afford their sewage bills. She had nothing to say and asked if I needed anything else? I told her no, she did a good enough job at making me feel bad and I know not to ever call back. I hung up on her. Why do we live here again? That was a big face slap if I’ve ever had one.

Number Three was an awful call to the electric company. Ever since they installed “smart meters” on the houses, our electric bills have more than doubled. We went from a $75 electric bill to a $212 electric bill within a month, and we have everything energy efficient, right down to light bulbs. It took me about a half hour to get in touch with someone at the electric company while they tried to collect payment the entire time on their automated system. Finally, I was so thankful it rang through and someone answered. I will say the woman was nice, but her business manners were just awful. She had no idea what she was talking about and was twisting my words around. She kept getting information wrong and was unable to find account information, and then was pulling up our landlords information. I was like sweet Jesus, no! Don’t bring her into this! We’re already on bad terms with her as it is. I just wanted to know why the usage was so high. She couldn’t answer my question either way and I was rushed off of the phone. She must have had a burrito in the microwave at work or something.

I had to save the best for last, which after this I ended up having to take my medication and was knocked out for awhile. I had to call our landlord. Why was I doing all of the calling one may ask? Because my significant other has been working since early this morning taking calls and literally did not stop until late this afternoon. I was stuck doing the dirty work…lucky me. So back to business here, I was super nice and said “Hi *Name* It’s Kevin at *Address*” You know what is sad? I have to say that every time and she is BJ’s aunt…yes, our landlord is my partner’s aunt and she often has no clue who we are when we have to contact her. You can make a sour face if you want, I usually do when I think about it. Well I I just flat out told her May was going to be a terrible month, the utilities at the house were super high and we had to pay them immediately or we would end up with shut off notices, and no one wants those. I can tell you this lady has no remorse whatsoever. I wasn’t trying to get us out of paying her rent, I was trying to buy us time or an arrangement. She said she is closing her payment book on May 7th and it has to be paid on or before that day or she’ll have to take further action. “You guys know my policy.” I don’t remember what I said to her, but I know she was in a hurry to get off the phone. I know when Bradley came down to get some coffee, I told him how much of a witch I thought his aunt was. 

So I set up a GoFundMe in the amount of the rent, which I ended up feeling guilty for after seeing cancer patients and others with injuries and illnesses. I knocked off $60 from my items that I sold which I put in my savings account towards the rent for May. I tried to reach out to friends and family, but none of them seemed interested whatsoever as most of them live in their own little worlds. I may end up taking it down, I’m not sure, because I am NOT one to beg or ask for money. Of course I never thought I’d find ourselves in this type of situation, either. The link is as follows, maybe some feedback would be helpful? I was truthful and honest in it, straight forward and I didn’t beg or put guilt trips on people.


Things have been kind of a mess since I got out of the hospital last month. I am definitely feeling like things are my fault.

I had a severe anxiety attack and ended up having to take my medication on an emergency level. It knocked me out for awhile and when I came to, I felt like I was hit by a truck. Needless to say, I had a day dealing with difficult people and I thank the Lord everyday that I am NOTHING like that. 



Material Possessions

Good morning fellow bloggers and friends.

I had a good cry this morning but I think maybe it made for a good “small” morning post. As you may have noticed, I am not going crazy with posting multiple things everyday. Sometimes I may, but I’ve been letting up some. 

This morning I had to part with things that were dear to me, and I don’t own much in material possessions. Last night I listed my Depression and Carnival Glass that I have been collecting for years now. Half of it had been sold last year to put towards medical bills, and I kept some that I loved dearly. Well, times being what they are, I had to make a decision. The same very kind lady came to me wanting the rest and made an offer. I think I could have done a little better, but not everyone is in the market for such things or understand the history and beauty of these pieces. Either way, they went to a good home.

Next was a 1912 Newspaper from the sinking of the Titanic. A friend had bought it for me at an auction in Pittsburgh, authentic and old, I do not know how much she paid for it, but I loved it dearly, as I love The Titanic and the history that surrounds that ship. I kept it in an airtight sleeve in a tote with my yearbooks, diplomas, school papers, etc. The things that mean something to me. This morning someone came and bought it off of me, and I cried for awhile and then cleaned. When I am upset and distraught, I clean. Why that is, I don’t know. If anyone else is like that, I’d LOVE to chat with you. 

Then I got to thinking. Why am I upset? I loved these items very much, but they were just material possessions. They weren’t needs. It’s not like they were going to be put in a casket with me and be cremated. I can do without. Putting the cash towards May’s rent is more important than owning the items, or being evicted and put out on our butts. I think someone up above was speaking to me.



‘Cause You Can’t Afford It

I kind of figured the day would come when we couldn’t afford our bills. The prices on everything keep skyrocketing, you know, the cost of living in general; groceries, rent, utilities, doctor and medication co pays, etc. Isn’t it just fabulous? Please detect my intense sarcasm with the “Fabulous” statement. I am disgusted. 

While doing our monthly expenses for the month of May, I was opening the bills and seen some of the utility bills for the month. Right away I grabbed for the headache relief medication because I could feel a terrible one coming on. I already took my anxiety medication as I do before preparing bills, this time around I wish I was allowed a double dose. After paying the most important of utilities and necessities (natural gas, electric, water, sewage, garbage service, vehicle insurance, basic telephone service (which I need for emergency purposes) and internet (which BJ needs for his job because he works from home in customer service, otherwise we would cut it out and I wouldn’t even care) we won’t even come close to having the amount to pay our monthly rent fee.

The real stresser is that our landlord happens to be his great-aunt, and the problem is she expects payment within a few days after the beginning of the month. If it’s not mailed or dropped off, questions are asked and harassment starts. You don’t ever want to be harassed by her. I can honestly say; DO NOT EVER RENT FROM FAMILY MEMBERS. You are in for a world of trouble most of the time if you do so. If you have done so OR do so and have never had a problem, then congrats, I applaud you. I am proud of you. I am jealous of you. We have had a few nasty encounters that I wish would have never happened.

I do fear we’re in for an eviction notice sooner or later, especially with the way things are going. We live in such a rural area, there is no help for anyone. No community based organizations offer funding anymore for the needy, and any funding given goes to the cities where the homeless rates are much higher. There was a time when we were homeless, I remember it very clearly. I also remember a time when we were trying to obtain an apartment out by the Pittsburgh airport, not very nice places, but we were desperate, and the rent was high. With both of our incomes, it still would have been hard but it was close to our places of employment. When the management lady called and said we needed to hand in $2,500 to secure the apartment and we said we would need some time, she screamed “CAUSE YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT!” 

That sticks in my head quite often, unfortunately. Not a nice person to be running a professional business in my book.

I’m just going to pray and leave it in God’s hands. BJ is trying to pick up extra time to get more cash flow in here. I somewhat feel as if I am the one to blame; a $50 co-pay for the ankle and foot brace, $120 for 2 pain management shots in my ankle and a nerve block shot in my foot. Perhaps tomorrow things will look on the brighter side of things.



Achieving Small Goals – I Didn’t Fail and YOU Can Do It!

♥ I don’t fail. I succeed, even at the smallest of things, including spring cleaning, and I am far from done. In just three-four days, I have accomplished more than I thought possible with both mental and physical disabilities. Here is a short list of what I have accomplished spring cleaning wise, and I am not stopping there. I have a list clear up until next Friday of things that need done. ♥

Saturday 4/21/2018
⦁ Clean Office Window ✓
⦁ Clean Media Room Window ✓
⦁ Clean Hallway Window ✓
⦁ Clean Bathroom Window ✓
⦁ Clean Bedroom Windows ✓
⦁ Take Porch Garbage to Garage ✓

Sunday 4/22/2018
⦁ Clean Kitchen Windows and Doors ✓
⦁ Organize Pantry ✓
⦁ Organize Fridge and Freezer ✓
⦁ Clean Upstairs Toilet ✓
⦁ Clean Upstairs Sink ✓
⦁ Clean Bathtub ✓
⦁ Clean out old clothes from closets ✓
⦁ Clean Dining Room Windows ✓

Monday 4/23/2018
⦁ Scrub stove top and oven ✓
⦁ Clean under kitchen sink ✓
⦁ Clean kitchen cabinets and cupboards ✓
⦁ Take boxes to garage ✓
⦁ Take unneeded items to Goodwill  ✓
⦁ Take broken wood items behind garage  ✓
⦁ Clean out lower cabinets in Dining Room  ✓

Tuesday 4/24/2018
⦁ Wash dining room curtains ✓
⦁ Clean china cabinet and clean out under china cabinet ✓
⦁ Polish furniture in dining room ✓
⦁ Tighten bolts on dining room chairs ✓
⦁ Rearrange dining room furniture ✓
⦁ Clean upstairs hallway linen cabinet  ✓

While I am not feeling all that well today in the mental health areas, I am still persuading all of you, whoever is reading my blog, to not give up and go for your activities. Accomplish them no matter what. Feel GOOD about doing them. Don’t let others tell you they are not possible, no matter how big or small. Dream small, dream big. Let the stars shine and let your inner soul shine bright at the sun. 



Mr. Sandman, PLEASE Bring Me Some Sleep

With all of this added stress and emotional distress lately, I haven’t slept in close to 4 days (or nights, however you’d like to describe it) I am so tired, but so wired at the same time. I’ve tried natural remedies to try and doze off at night, nothing works.

I need to get some good, decent sleep soon or I am setting myself up for a stroke or heart attack, and that isn’t just a simple guess. I’ve given myself a good cry almost all day, I don’t think there are anymore tears left for my to jump in a bottle and float away.

I need some sleep sand sprinkled over me and to sleep for a week or four.